So, like usual, im feeling a little bit vulnerable and put on the spot. Im kind of cornering myself and making long pauses and doing my "part time job". Only i know what i am doin.>.<"
"God, I need Your wisdom now"
(lets just assume James 1:5 is the basis of this. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.)
This is probably what i say to my heart every single time i meet with someone. Im kind of utterly dependent and im realizing very clearly how quickly i can become lost in my own thoughts. Hmmmmmm. *speechless + sigh*
Thanks for giving me nice nuggets of wisdom every time. Small convos, big convos, all alike. Even if they werent the most profound words from some deep heart concept or, or even if the person doesnt walk away with new revelation. I love how real He give a chance to get through this silly lilly lifes.
This is another chapter of my life. It was very difficult to come back to it and try to make sense of all that i have experienced through the various stages of my life and the trials that i have endured or overcome. I wish that i could say that i have completely pulled myself through this period of not knowing who i am, however in contrast, the struggle to regain solid ground has been all uphill and the burden of feeling lost in my world became more confused, and a period of testing that i am not even sure how i survived this time, :") except by the grace of God and the support of my friends and theLOVEone. I am confident, however, that these trials that i have been going through are going to work out for the good, eventually. I should probably give a brief overview of what has been going on this past year. A terrible depression consumed me and is still weighing heavy over me. Depression is the most crippling disease a person can develop. Everyone had their own bad story aite? :') It consumes the very spirit in a person and takes over, relentlessly destroying its captive in ways i cant even begin to understand or describe. Bcoz my depression overwhelmed my life, i could not help my love to overcome his problems. Im so sorry dear :'(
I was thinking about my life. Why must this things happen to me? It just a memory la Katie. Come on.... Hmmmmm.. >.<" Then i began dealing with a physical illness that was brought on by the depression and stress in my life.
My friends always stayed with me, especially Zarina, and truly she has been my strength through many days when i only wanted to give up. This time has given us a new, stronger precious bond in which we share, and together we are facing some of the most difficult challenges, and i thank God every day for blessing me with such an amazing and kind friends. Actually, all of my babes are amazing :") and i am so blessed to have them in my life. Jokingly, i say "I dont know what i ever did right to deserve to be blessed so greatly with such precious friends" but truly, and with all seriousness, they are a gift to my life, and I cant thank God enough for them. God, thanks for the great gift that u gave to me. :") God Bless Me <3  |
